Patsy Porco

Lysol and Holy Water

In Humor on February 16, 2013 at 12:28 am

I know it’s not popular to believe in evil spirits, but I do. I just think it’s strange that, back in Jesus’ day, he and his apostles spent a good amount of time casting out evil spirits. Once the demon spirits were expelled, the cured people were good as new.

So, why would evil spirits just suddenly go away? In my opinion, they didn’t. They just went out of fashion. When society stopped believing in them, they didn’t close up shop. They were busier than ever but, once they became passé, they were able to operate under the radar, ignored and blameless. Now, when people were evil or acted crazy, they were labeled as “unstable”—instead of as “possessed.” I imagine that when the demons were given their free pass, they had a hell of a party.

This all relates, of course, to my recent outing on eBay. All winter long, I had been looking for a nice pair of black leather riding boots with a small stacked heel. Because I only shop at Marshalls and TJ Maxx—along with the rest of humanity—pickings were scarce. Either the heels were sky-high or the prices were, which was surprising considering where I was shopping.

By February, I still didn’t have a pair of black boots, so I decided to risk catching plantar warts and buy a gently used pair on eBay. I figured my chances of contracting warts were slim if I sprayed the inside of the boots with Lysol. Anyway, I found the boots I was looking for, won the bidding war, and paid considerably less (including shipping) than I would have at my usual hunting grounds. Once I paid for them, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at handbags.

Four successful auctions later, I was the proud owner of one new evening bag and three previously owned leather purses.  I got excellent deals on the bags (including shipping); however, I still wasn’t shocked at my husband’s vehement (read “loud”) request that I “get off eBay right now.”

I always confess everything to my husband. Even if I plan in advance to go overboard with whatever I’m doing, I also know that I’m going to tell him what I did, to relieve my guilt. Knowing about my future confession keeps me in check. Kind of.

I told one of my sisters about my purchases and she said, “Ewwww. How can you wear boots, or carry a bag that was owned by someone else?”

“I’m going to wipe down the boots and bags with Lysol wipes and spray their insides with Lysol spray. They’ll be germ-free once I’m done,” I said.

“But they could have bad juju,” she said.

“Juju”? I asked.

“You know, evil spirits or bad auras, or something.”

“Huh,” I said. That was a new one. “Well then, once I clean them, I’ll sprinkle everything,  inside and out, with holy water.”

“That might work,” she said. “Hey!” she added, “I think you just invented the next generation of cleaners—ones that get rid of germs and bad juju.”

“Wow,” I said. “You might be right. But, we’ll need to find a new word for juju.”

“Why?” she asked. “Nobody believes in evil spirits, but juju is a commonly accepted thing.”

I can’t help but wonder what kind of people she hangs out with.

Advertisements
  1. I can see where boots might have some evil juju – if they went someplace bad. But a purse? Purses are always holy – and special. I love purses.

    • I agree! But if boots went somewhere bad, couldn’t bags go somewhere bad, too? Even if they all lived in sin, I’ve rescued them from their former lives and will give them a nice, happy home.

  2. Shoes have bad juju because they absorb the essense of the owner and it gets passed on to anyone who wears them. That’s what I learned on the Internet. And it’s got to be true if it’s on the Internet!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Dispatches from the Asylum

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” ― Douglas Adams

Chomp Chomp

Food & Dining

I.A.

Cooking and More

Tripambitions

It contains the world best places and things.

Conundrum.

dabbles in writing, loves music and nature. Sierra Leonean

Amber & Corde

A journey of expanding my dog's world

Little Fears

Tales of whimsy, humor and courgettes

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Elan Mudrow

The Ridges of Intertextuallity

The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

debiboc

This WordPress.com site a journey through 2014 - Body and Soul

Leonard's Lines

A world without humor just isn't funny.

rachelmankowitz

The Cricket Pages

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

saneteachers

What they never taught me in teacher school.

SERENDIPITY

Searching for intelligent life on earth

ANIKET SHARMA PHOTOGRAPHY

World through my lens

Happiness Between Tails by da-AL

Arts + Cooking + Dancing + Joy + Writing + Tales + Tails

Sableyes

Sabbles woz 'ere

Life In Our Little LA Garden

Spending time in our urban oasis planting seeds and talking about it

Waking Muses

A Creative Writing Project

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

Mara Eastern

I hope to be hysterically hilarious. But maybe I'm just hysterical.

razorbackwriteraus

In the sea of dreams.

Bluestem Pond

Diary of the creation of Bluestem Pond Farm

pieofthebeholder

52 weeks. 52 pies.

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

New York Sports Roundup

A fine WordPress.com site

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Nailsbails

A little about everything, a lot about nothing.

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: