Patsy Porco

A Taxing Situation

In Humor on June 30, 2013 at 9:24 pm

Tax season is thankfully over for most of us this year, but it’s never too early to plan for next year.

I just learned today, from a CPA,  that if you find a dollar in the street, you are supposed to report it on your taxes. He also cautioned that if I were to kidnap someone and collect ransom, then I was obligated to report the ransom as income.

I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t call it “ransom” on my taxes; that would land the FBI on my doorstep faster than I could spell FBI. I’d probably list my ill-gotten gains under “services,” like prostitutes do—the honest ones, anyway.

This tax service is provided for free. I just wanted to make that clear in case the NSA gets wind of my blog.

  1. What if you lose money on the street? Can you deduct it from your total income. I had a couple of $20 bills fall out of my pocket last year. (Only to be picked up by someone walking right behind me, I’m sure.)

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