Patsy Porco

The Next Best Thing

In Humor on July 24, 2013 at 12:31 am

When I was a kid, and eavesdropping on adult conversations, whenever a new invention or product–anything from felt-tip pens to birth control pills–was discussed, an adult never failed to pipe up, “It’s the next best thing to sliced bread.” Then my father or some other man–never a woman–would say, “Build a better mousetrap and the world will come aknocking.” I’m not sure that the word that was used was actually “aknocking,” but that’s how I remember it.

I was thinking about that today as I cleaned my entire bathroom with disinfecting wipes. They are a brilliant invention and make a mockery of other cleaning products. A mockery, I say. I still squirt toilet cleaner into my toilet because I don’t want to stick my hand in there with a wipe, but other than toilet cleaner, I don’t need anything else besides wipes. They’re the next best thing to sliced bread, I suppose.

I’m not really sure about the accuracy of my comparison, however, because by the time I was born, sliced bread was readily available and not much on the minds of people who bought their bread at the Acme. It was always called “the” Acme by everyone I knew except for my grandfather, Popeye, who called it “the Ac-a-me.”

I can appreciate the invention of sliced bread, though. Before then, it must have been a hassle to have to cut up every loaf of bread you ever bought.  It was probably also a messy job, what with crumbs flying everywhere.

The crumbs would explain the worldwide desire for a better mousetrap. Now I understand the rush to invent the best one, and why all of humanity was lined up and ready to come aknocking.

Advertisements
  1. Your post reminded me that I have to buy some disinfecting wipes on the way home! Thanks!

  2. That’s why I blog.

  3. Growing up in Delaware I know all about “the Ac-a-me”. People here in the Midwest just look at me funny when I speak of such things.

    • Jono, I grew up in Philadelphia, so you and I speak the same lingo. Did you ever go to Pappy’s? It was a pizza place that had the slogan, “Pappy will make you Happy.” We went every summer on our way home from Rehobeth Beach, where we vacationed for a number of years.

  4. I probably ogled you on the boardwalk at Rehoboth back then. I usually ate at Grotto’s Pizza which is still there so I hear. I should probably buy some wipes too, now that you mention it.

    • Were you the guy that I tried to attract by running my kite in circles around his kite until they were hopelessly tangled, and he was angrier than the situation called for?

      • I would have been flattered by the attention and not angry, so it wasn’t me. Untangling them would have been like a game of Twister. At least in my fantasy world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Dispatches from the Asylum

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” ― Douglas Adams

Chomp Chomp

Food & Dining

I.A.

Cooking and More

Tripambitions

It contains the world best places and things.

Conundrum.

dabbles in writing, loves music and nature. Sierra Leonean

Amber & Corde

A journey of expanding my dog's world

Little Fears

Tales of whimsy, humor and courgettes

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Elan Mudrow

The Ridges of Intertextuallity

The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

debiboc

This WordPress.com site a journey through 2014 - Body and Soul

Leonard's Lines

A world without humor just isn't funny.

rachelmankowitz

The Cricket Pages

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

saneteachers

What they never taught me in teacher school.

SERENDIPITY

Searching for intelligent life on earth

ANIKET SHARMA PHOTOGRAPHY

World through my lens

Happiness Between Tails by da-AL

Arts + Cooking + Dancing + Joy + Writing + Tales + Tails

Sableyes

Sabbles woz 'ere

Life In Our Little LA Garden

Spending time in our urban oasis planting seeds and talking about it

Waking Muses

A Creative Writing Project

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

Mara Eastern

I hope to be hysterically hilarious. But maybe I'm just hysterical.

razorbackwriteraus

In the sea of dreams.

Bluestem Pond

Diary of the creation of Bluestem Pond Farm

pieofthebeholder

52 weeks. 52 pies.

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

New York Sports Roundup

A fine WordPress.com site

notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Nailsbails

A little about everything, a lot about nothing.

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: