Patsy Porco

What I Want for Christmas … Next Year

In Humor on December 27, 2013 at 4:13 pm

Christmas is barely over and I’ve already made my list for next year. I’m thrilled with the presents I received this year from my very generous husband, son, and extended family, so don’t think I’m ungrateful, because I’m not. And, besides, my list only has one item on it.

This year, we entertained a lot of people over the Christmas holidays and, on the day after Christmas, I was despairing over fitting all of the soda, beer, and wine bottles into our recycling container, which is four-feet tall. Granted, it was also stuffed with boxes, unpopped bubble wrap, wrapping paper, newspapers, and other recyclable detritus, but the soda bottles took up more than their fair share of room.

The beer and wine bottles I could overlook. They deserved room at the inn because they were compact, but the cumbersome 2-liter soda bottles were wasting valuable space. If only we had a soda fountain, I thought. I didn’t want a Soda Stream, however. You can only make one bottle of soda at a time with that.

No, what I wanted was the kind of fountain you see at pizza and fast-food places. I wanted a variety of beverage choices with no recyclables. That would be a great thing to have in the house. It would end the soda-bottle problem and also preclude my guests from sneaking the unsightly bottles onto my holiday dinner table when I wasn’t looking—despite the signs that I hang all over the house that say “Soda bottles are prohibited from being seen. You will find them in the bathroom where they must remain.”

If my husband springs for a top-of-the-line model next year, I might even be able to hook up a few wine and beer canisters and rent out the empty space in our recycling container. Now that’s a Christmas gift worth waiting a year for.

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