Patsy Porco

I’m a Pepper

In Humor on February 2, 2014 at 5:13 pm

I woke up today with a song in my heart. Well, it was actually in my brain and it went like this, “Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t. Almond Joy’s got nuts. Mounds don’t.” My subconscious knew what day it is: Super Bowl Sunday, aka Commercial Appreciation Day.

Even though I’ll be watching the big game with my family, I know very little about it. If I were to dedicate this blog post to today’s Super Bowl, it would end after this sentence: Super Bowl XLVIII: The Seattle Seahawks are playing the Denver Broncos at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey and I’m rooting for the Broncos because I like seeing Peyton Manning in commercials (even though I can’t recall what he is selling), and I think it’s cool that he and his brother, Eli, are NFL quarterbacks.

That wouldn’t make for a very compelling post, so I think I’ll stick with what I know: commercials. Tonight, we’ll see clever, witty, touching, extraordinary, hilarious, meaningful, and beautifully shot and written commercials. We won’t remember many of them after we discuss our favorites tomorrow.

However, I still hear people mention commercials from ten, twenty, thirty, or more years ago. Those commercials were truly memorable.

Who can forget the image of Smokey the Bear warning against causing forest fires, or that owl who wanted to know how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? I remember licking and licking until I reached a number. I can’t remember what the number was, though.

How about the crying Indian (I think he was crying about litter, but I’m not sure).

And remember those jingles that, once heard, were never forgotten?:

“I am stuck on Band-Aid ’cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me,”

“I’m a Pepper, He’s a Pepper … Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?”

“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,”

“I’d like to buy the world a Coke,”

“You deserve a break today, so get up and get away to McDonald’s,”

“Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.”

I also recall this line from an ad, even though it wasn’t sung: “How can I have a nutter Nutter Butter Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookie, if I haven’t had any yet?”

And, everyone knows that “Choosy mothers choose Jif.”

If I were a commercial-maker, I’d go old-school and try to come up with memorable characters, jingles, and sayings. People will remember them, and maybe even the brand that went with them. I know that nobody’s going to be talking about turning into Betty White when you need a Snickers bar, in thirty years.

What old commercials do you remember? Feel free to share your favorites as soon as possible. I need something to do tonight while I pretend to watch the game.

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  1. My bologna has a first name. It’s O s c a r. The best jingle EVER!

    • You’re right! Although it couldn’t be used verbatim in Politically Correct 2014 … considering that “fat kids” was part of the jingle.

      • I don’t remember that line. I only remember
        “My bologna has a first name. It’s O S C A R. My bologna has a second name. It’s M A Y E R. Oh, I love to eat it every day. And if you ask me why I’ll say, that Oscar Mayer has a way with B O L O G N A.”
        I don’t think I could ever buy another brand, because I love that song so much!

      • You’re right. I’m thinking of Armour hotdogs: the dogs kids like to bite.

        “Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. Tall kids, short kids, even kids with chickenpox like hotdogs, Armour hotdogs. The dogs kids like to bite.”

      • I remember that one!

  2. Another reply from Facebook:

    Ken Grace If we’re talkin old time TV commercial jingles….I. was singing about a locomotive man long before I knew about Casey Jones drivin’ that train…..Choo Choo Charlie was an engineer….
    2/4/14

    Patsy Bahner Porco Ken, you’re right! I know all of the lyrics, too!
    2/4/14

  3. 19 people shared my post on Facebook but I have no “likes.” Does that mean that 19 people hated it and posted it?

  4. Below are responses to this post that were made on my Facebook page, where I shared this post:

    Veronica Bahner Khavin The Big Fig Newton is one of my favorites!
    Sunday, 2/2/2014 at 6:31pm

    Karen Gentry Edwards I wish I was an oscar myer weiner!
    23 hours ago

    Patsy Bahner Porco How did I forget about Oscar Meyer weiners, Karen Gentry Edwards? What big Fig Newton, Veronica Bahner Khavin?
    21 hours ago

    Cynthia Roskin Zeboris Loved it!
    20 hours ago · Like..

    Frank Porco I can’t believe i ate the whole thing!
    8 hours ago ·

    Ken Grace Marshmallow meatballs!
    11 hours ago

    Veronica Bahner Khavin Lyrics to the Fig Newton Song:
    Oo-ey, goo-ey, rich and chewy inside
    Rich and golden, tender, flaky outside
    Put the inside in the outside
    Is it good?
    Darn tootin’!
    Doin’ the big…Fig…Newton.
    (here’s the tricky part)
    The big…Fig…Newton.
    (one more time!)
    The big…Fig…Newton.
    8 hours ago

    Veronica Bahner Khavin He was a giant, dancing fig; how could you not remember him?!
    8 hours ago

    Patsy Bahner Porco Veronica, now I remember the song, just not the giant fig.
    6 hours ago

    Patsy Bahner Porco Ken, I don’t recall marshmallow meatballs. What ad was that?
    6 hours ago

    Ken Grace It was a newlywed couple…she kept naming recipes..pepto bismol…his facial expressions were priceless..she had a high squeaky voice….Alice Playten I think…or Playton
    6 hours ago

    Melissa Martin Stearn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLQYKCJ9zQ8 This should be the marshmallowed meatballs ad.
    Alka Seltzer Bad Cook http://www.youtube.com Old Commercial.
    3 hours ago · Like

    Patsy Bahner Porco Ken Grace, my cousin, Melissa Martin Stearn, posted the marshmallow meatballs commercial above. Which reminds me, how did I forget, “Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, Oh, what a relief it is!”?
    3 hours ago

    Ken Grace Thank you, Melissa!!
    3 hours ago

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