Patsy Porco

I Yam Not Amused

In Holidays, Humor on December 18, 2015 at 5:57 pm

This week, I was in a gift exchange at work. It was the type known as “White Elephant,” “Yankee Swap,” and probably by many other names. I personally think of it as “Cutthroat Gift Exchange,” because a person can steal the gift you chose rather than choose from the pile.

I had been in a similar exchange before, and while the rules differed a bit, the outcome was the same: your gift wasn’t safe until the game ended. I appreciate that twist because it adds a ruthless component to the mix, which can’t help but result in good feelings all around.

We had a maximum spending limit of $10. With a limit so low, even if your gift was stolen and you really wanted it, you could easily go buy it for yourself. So, the risk of hard feelings was minimal. Or so I thought.

I admit that I broke the spending rule. I bought a $4 flask (on sale) and a $10 pint of Johnny Walker Red. I had to spend the $10 on the scotch because the flask had “Whiskey is my spirit animal” written across the front of it. A bottle of wine wouldn’t make sense with that flask, and there simply wasn’t a decent whiskey to be had for less than $10 at the store I went to. That was fine with me, though. I was willing to settle for a $10 gift in exchange for my $14 one (actual retail price $20).

I was glad that I had spent a little extra. A lot of people wanted it, and it was stolen several times during the game. The gift I received, however, was not stolen even once.

Nobody wanted a sweet potato.

Gift Exchange 2015.



  1. Ha ha! I like your gift, and I can see why it was more popular than the potato.

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