Patsy Porco

A Hairy Post-Debate Analysis

In Humor, politics, Presidential Debates on October 9, 2016 at 11:56 pm

I had a friend in college who had a comb-over. He was a grad student who would be bald by the time he got his PhD. He, like oh-so-many men, thought that if he grew his hair long on one side and combed it over his pate to the other side, nobody would notice his premature balding. This highly intelligent man, however, did not prepare for an encounter with a stiff wind, when his cover would be literally and figuratively blown.

Tonight, as I watched the second presidential debate, I was transfixed by Donald Trump’s comb-over. It didn’t look like any of the ones I’ve seen. I puzzled over the difference throughout the debate. What was different?

Right about the time he was challenging the judges for letting Hillary Clinton speak past her two-minute allotment while cutting him off, I got my answer. He doesn’t have a comb-over; he has a comb-back. He must have hair at the very front of his hairline, but not on the top or back of his head. Therefore, it appears that he grows a very long thatch of hair from the front and combs it back … way back.

He probably uses bobby pins to keep it in place, unlike the guy I used to know. Trump couldn’t risk having it blow straight up the air. But, he must take the pins out at night when he goes to sleep. At least Melania doesn’t have to panic when she finds long blonde hairs in their bed.




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