Patsy Porco

Posts Tagged ‘WordPress’

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Does Anybody Really Care?

In Humor on December 28, 2016 at 4:12 pm

If it weren’t for my pill organizer, I wouldn’t have any idea what day it is.pill-organizer

My company’s office has been closed since December 23, but we’re still supposed to put in two days of work from home before the office opens again on January 2. Sixteen hours of work should, in theory, be easy to fulfill in ten days.

However, the days have sped by in a flurry of holiday activity and now that things have calmed down, I can’t seem to get out of my pajamas until the sun sets.

Luckily for me, I don’t have to get dressed in order to work from home … or go to Walmart, where my satin, leopard-print ensemble fits right in.

leopard-pajamas

 

(Credit to Chicago for the title of this post.)

Advertisements

A Call From Beyond … And Large Butts

In Humor on January 1, 2014 at 6:10 pm

First thought January 1, 2014:

Whenever I call friends and family on the West Coast to wish them a Happy New Year, I tell them I’m calling from the future. It never gets old.

Last thought (that I remember) on December 31, 2013:

WordPress sends all of its bloggers a year-end report, telling the bloggers the number of people who viewed their posts, which posts were the favorites, etc.

Under the category, “What search terms were used to find your blog?” here were the top keywords used: patsy porco blog, patsy porco, and large butts.

Organic Growth

In Humor, key words, keywords, WordPress on August 21, 2013 at 11:17 pm

WordPress just awarded me a virtual trophy for my virtual trophy case. The trophy case exists at WordPress offices, which are virtually located somewhere in cyberspace (“cyber” meaning “virtual”).

My trophy was for getting 50 people to follow my blog (I am extremely grateful to all of my blog subscribers. Thank you!). It  took me four years, and my blog’s growth was mostly organic.

Some people get 50 followers on their fourth day. But, they are either famous, have a lot of relatives, or get “Freshly Pressed” by WordPress. Blog posts that are Freshly Pressed are featured by WordPress on their Freshly Pressed page. WordPress bloggers and readers flock to this page, to find good-quality writing on numerous topics. Being Freshly Pressed is a sure-fire way to attract readers. Otherwise, your blog is just one of trillions of blogs, all badly key-worded,* and destined for the slush pile of blogs sitting on a virtual desk somewhere.

As I said earlier, my blog’s growth has been mostly organic, which means “grown with products only found in nature” — which, in my case means “via word of mouth, or accidental.” Like organic gardening, you have to have faith that your garden (blog) won’t be eaten by slugs (ignored) and will eventually produce an edible (wildly popular) commodity. The only fertilizer you can use is natural. I am full of natural fertilizer and I sprinkle it freely on my posts, so that isn’t the problem.

Time is the problem. It takes too long to grow things organically. I’m about ready to haul out the big guns: chemicals (curse/sex words). I’m pretty sure that curses and sex words are looked up more often than “humorous essay about my dog.” Using profane keywords should get me more readers, but is it worth cheapening my blog, just to get people to read my posts?

Hmmmm. I don’t ******* know. Maybe, just once.

*People who are looking for something specific online will Google specific keywords (i.e., chicken recipes; how to build a brick wall; pictures of hot women/guys; etc.) So, it’s very important to use commonly searched words in your post or in your tags (words from your post that you choose to label your post with). It’s not an exact science. Thousands of people use the same word combinations, so, if you don’t use the right keywords or keyword combinations, and if you’re writing about a topic that many others are writing about, when someone searches for your topic, your blog may appear as entry 10,000 in a keyword search, on page 928. People pay a lot of money to come up with keywords and keyword phrases that will get them to the first or second spot on the first page of a search. Most people never click to the second page (let alone page 928) when searching for information. Keywords matter, sometimes more than content.

The Little Aussies

We are The Little Aussies, Toy Australian Shepherds, living it up in Los Angeles, California and Denver, Colorado! Follow us on our pawsome adventures!

New Internet Cash

Best methods to make money online today!

Pauls Pages Too

Extra Content from PaulsPages.com

TheCavalierKing.com

All about the cavalier king

Crazartt

And just like that she built the Queendom she always wanted @Mehakkhorana

WordPress Tutorials

WordPress Tutorials

My life as a blind person

This is my life. Come over here and I'll show you all of the good, the bad and the ugly. Comment me if you wish. I have also created a GoFundMe Page! The link is on the sidebar.

Gareth Roberts

Unorthodox Marketing & Strategy

meganelizabethmorales

MANNERS MAKETH MAN, LOST BOYS FAN & PERPETAUL CREATIVITY.

Beautiful Life with Cancer

Discovering the Gift

A Wifes Reality

The things women don't and won't say about their past and present, true story.

Godinterest

A place to talk about God, Culture, Life and all that other stuff

Covered in Beer

by Thomas Cochran

Life Within Him

Seek | Explore | Dream | Live

My Blog

A fine WordPress.com site

Jasmine Eclipse

A lifestyle blog to help you reach your full potential in blogging, faith, and everything in between.

Wonderful Cinema

Short reviews on high quality films. No spoilers.

this is... The Neighborhood

the Story within the Story

Playing Your Hand Right

Showing America how to Live

100 Shoes Blog

Style | Travel | Genuine Living

Sms|DesiRe

A site which can fulfill all your desire with fun.

Chicks With Ticks

Our mission at Chicks with Ticks is to enlighten and empower those who work or play in the great outdoors by providing a source for information, inspiration, and practical help on how to enjoy, enhance, and survive any outdoor adventure.

mbove

Nice Golf Corpse Mysteries

So Far From Heaven

Too many reincarnations in a single lifetime to trust this one.

Knight of Angels

The Improbable Quests of an Autodidact

The Collected Wisdom OF Godfrey

He Was An Odd Young Man WHo DIsliked Beets

Harmony Books & Films, LLC

Tired of being ordinary, then here are some tips for becoming extraordinary.

CrapPile

A blog about writing, society, and life itself

Sally and David's amazing adventures

Tales of two (almost) virgin travellers

The Little Mermaid

MAKING A DIFFERENCE, ONE STEP AT A TIME

JANNAT007

Watch Your Thoughts; They Become Words

Aunt Beulah

living well to age well

The Bloggess

Bizarre thoughts from author Jenny Lawson - Like Mother Teresa, only better.

psychologistmimi

Food, Road Trips & Notes from the Non-Profit Underground

Dispatches from the Asylum

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” ― Douglas Adams

Chomp Chomp Food

Me So Hungry

I.A.

Cooking and More

Tripambitions

It contains the world best places and things.

Conundrum.

Dabbles in writing, loves music and nature. Sierra Leonean

Amber & Corde

A journey of expanding my dog's world

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Elan Mudrow

Smidgens