Patsy Porco

Archive for December, 2012|Monthly archive page

Thoughtma

In Humor on December 4, 2012 at 10:14 pm

We’ve all heard of Karma: do good, get good; do bad, get bad. Or, in Christian terms: reap what you sow.

What you might not have heard of is Thoughtma: think of bad things and they will happen. Unless you knock on wood, or say, “God forbid,” or something similar.

I can think about winning the lottery, writing an award-winning story, being discovered in Stop and Shop by an influential casting agent who is looking for the perfect mother/grandmother/aunt/sister/best friend/nosy neighbor, etc., for his or her future Academy Award–winning movie, but those thoughts never become reality.

However, the minute I think of getting a flat tire, being laid off, gaining weight, receiving bad news, or having a rat in the house, you can bet it’ll happen. Unless I knock on wood, say “God forbid,” or something similar. Being Catholic, I tend to say, “God forbid.” As long as I say that after a negative thought, the bad thought doesn’t materialize. But, if I don’t negate the thought, it’s a given that it’ll happen. (I blame my OCD on this phenomena, but that’s a topic for another post.)

Take today: I was thinking that it had been two years since we had had a rat in our house. (To read the last time’s account, see “Two Hundred and Thirty-Eight Dollars https://patsyporco.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/two-hundred-and-thirty-eight-dollars/).

Because I was not suffering from OCD at the moment (it comes and goes), I let the thought go without any addendum. Naturally, only hours later, I went into the unfinished part of our basement, turned on the light and, of course, a rat the size of Rhode Island ran across my field of vision.

After lots of door slamming and screaming, my family fled to higher ground. Our son, Luke, was brave enough to set some traps baited with expensive soft cheese, but I still left a frantic message with our exterminator.

This whole episode has made me rethink my OCD. Instead of trying to beat it, I’m going to join it. I’ve decided to say, “God willing,” every time I play the lottery, write a story, or grocery shop. It might be time-consuming, but it’s better than trying to catch a rat.

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