Patsy Porco

Archive for March, 2015|Monthly archive page

Tuesday Now Beats Monday for the Worst Day of the Week

In Aging, Humor on March 31, 2015 at 10:25 pm

I piled my purchases onto the counter at Walgreens. The female Indian cashier looked at me and sweetly said, in halting English, “I am embarrassed to ask you this, but are you 55?”

My stomach sunk to the floor. Because she was so nice, I moderated my tone when I answered, “Why? Do I look 55?”

“I am asking,” she answered, “because Tuesday is Senior Citizen Day and everyone 55 and over gets 10% off their purchases.” Without answering my question directly, she did answer it, which made my stomach sink even lower.

“No, I’m not 55!” I responded. She looked vaguely embarrassed, but not by much. She obviously thought that I was lying.

“I’m not going to be 55 for another …” I stopped to calculate.  “… 22 days,” I announced.

She smiled knowingly. Looking back, I’m certain that she was thinking, “Another 22 days, give or take …”

“Thank you,” she said. “Then, your total is $31.29.”

“Here you go,” I said, handing her the money. “And thanks for ruining my evening.”

She smiled and said, “You’re welcome. And be well.”

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Best Husband Ever

In Humor on March 28, 2015 at 1:38 pm

The following conversation really happened. Before writing about it, I stopped to put on some makeup.

Me: I’m going out to the store. Do I look okay to go out, without any makeup on?

Husband: You look fine.

Me: Really?

Husband: Yes. Just don’t look anyone in the face.

A Fun Little Survey

In Humor on March 27, 2015 at 12:50 pm

My husband found this job posting on Craigslist. The job is in Manhattan. Who do you think it is? And, do you think that the person who is hiring really wrote this? My guess is that her husband wrote it after getting fed up with her assistants crying and quitting. Then again, maybe one of her outgoing assistants wrote it, but I doubt it could have gotten by her, being the micromanager that she is. Here’s the job description. Feel free to take the survey, too. Tell me who you think it is in the comments.

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