Tuesday Now Beats Monday for the Worst Day of the Week

I piled my purchases onto the counter at Walgreens. The female Indian cashier looked at me and sweetly said, in halting English, “I am embarrassed to ask you this, but are you 55?”

My stomach sunk to the floor. Because she was so nice, I moderated my tone when I answered, “Why? Do I look 55?”

“I am asking,” she answered, “because Tuesday is Senior Citizen Day and everyone 55 and over gets 10% off their purchases.” Without answering my question directly, she did answer it, which made my stomach sink even lower.

“No, I’m not 55!” I responded. She looked vaguely embarrassed, but not by much. She obviously thought that I was lying.

“I’m not going to be 55 for another …” I stopped to calculate.  “… 22 days,” I announced.

She smiled knowingly. Looking back, I’m certain that she was thinking, “Another 22 days, give or take …”

“Thank you,” she said. “Then, your total is $31.29.”

“Here you go,” I said, handing her the money. “And thanks for ruining my evening.”

She smiled and said, “You’re welcome. And be well.”

Best Husband Ever

The following conversation really happened. Before writing about it, I stopped to put on some makeup.

Me: I’m going out to the store. Do I look okay to go out, without any makeup on?

Husband: You look fine.

Me: Really?

Husband: Yes. Just don’t look anyone in the face.

A Fun Little Survey

My husband found this job posting on Craigslist. The job is in Manhattan. Who do you think it is? And, do you think that the person who is hiring really wrote this? My guess is that her husband wrote it after getting fed up with her assistants crying and quitting. Then again, maybe one of her outgoing assistants wrote it, but I doubt it could have gotten by her, being the micromanager that she is. Here’s the job description. Feel free to take the survey, too. Tell me who you think it is in the comments.

High profile global executive needs administration assistant to work in her home from 5pm to 3am dealing with emails and calls that are constantly coming in at these hours due to business being done all over the globe. Pay starts at $25/hour and can increase based on performance. Currently needed for 2 nights a week. Qualified people must have exceptional writing skills and expertise in Microsoft Outlook and Word. Should be comfortable being around a dog and teenage kids — important too, since you will be working in home. There is a house staff, chef and live-in nannies, so your main focus is the administration work. IMPORTANT: The demands for this job are extremely high-maintenance. Must be willing to say yes to any task from drafting work memos to clicking mouse for boss as she shops online for however long she chooses.The speed at which you are required to perform tasks without any typos, mistakes, etc., is incredibly demanding. Be prepared to check your dignity at the door, because all tasks must be executed in the exact way boss requires — even if you have a more efficient idea. Most importantly, the right candidate will have infinite patience and must never snap, argue with, talk back or cry in front of a rather irrational and Micromanaging boss. If you can put up with someone who thinks they are the only person in the world who matters and they are always right, then you CAN do this job. Perks include dinner each night from a private chef and cab fare at the end of night is always reimbursed. The schedule is ideal for someone looking to make extra cash, but has a day job. Hopefully this post isn’t discouraging, rather need to be upfront as the position has a high turnaround rate.