Patsy Porco

Archive for January, 2014|Monthly archive page

This Really Happened

In Humor on January 28, 2014 at 1:58 pm

I had finished grocery shopping and was about to wheel my full cart into a checkout aisle when I saw the cashier, who was ringing up a customer, look at me and roll her eyes. There was nobody behind her customer, so I figured that she was closing after she was finished with him.

I said, “Is this aisle closed?”

She rolled her eyes again and said, very loudly, “Does it look closed? Don’t you see me ringing up this customer? Isn’t it obvious that I’m open? What makes you think I’m closed? Can’t you—”

At this point, I removed my cart from her aisle, smiled, and responded loudly and overly-sweetly, “Oh-kay, thank you” over her continuing harangue. I took my cart over to the next aisle and didn’t look over at her, for fear of inciting a riot.

When it was my turn to check out, my cashier said to me, “You’re my last customer. Please tell anyone who gets in line behind you that I’m closed.” She rang up my purchases and during the process, a man wheeled his cart in behind me and asked, “Are you closed?”

My cashier smiled at him and said, “Yes.” He then went off to find another cashier. Then she looked at me and said, “I heard what happened. I’m sorry about that.”

I thanked her and then wondered if she only closed her aisle to make me feel better. I hope the cashier next to her learned something about customer service. Probably not.



Raise Your Glass

In Humor on January 24, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Starting today, I’m never going to drink out of a bottle or can again. Every liquid will be poured into a glass, even if it’s mouthwash. This is the first step in my journey to becoming elegant. Next step: stop sleeping in my Garfield sleeping bag in order to avoid washing sheets. My husband will appreciate this change. His Charlie’s Angels sleeping bag is wearing out.

A Staggering Resolution

In Humor on January 7, 2014 at 2:19 pm

Happy New Year! It’s day 7 of 2014 and I have no resolution guilt. It’s not because I didn’t make any resolutions. It’s because I’m staggering their start-dates.

I have a vague list of things that I want to do, or improve, but according to my new strategy, I can start whenever I like. And, if I get to the start-date and don’t feel like starting, I can move the date. And, not all of my resolutions need to be started on the same day; that’s too overwhelming. Let’s say that you decided to diet, exercise, drink less, and quit smoking this year. If you try to begin all of your resolutions on the same day, I can guarantee that, by the end of the day, you’ll be found lying in a drunken heap, wearing work-out gear, and surrounded by ground-out cigarettes and frosted donuts.

I got the resolution-staggering idea from my son. He told me that he was going to attempt some self-improvement, but in increments. That way, if he managed to complete Phase 1 of his resolution, he had kept his resolution. He didn’t fail in his resolution if he never got to Phase 2, because that was a future goal, to be started at a date to-be-determined. In completing Phase 1, he was already a success.

This philosophy is sheer genius. It takes the pressure off trying to do too much, all at once. Let’s call this the Staggering Resolution, and all resolve to try it today … or whenever you feel like it.

2014 Resolutions Are On Track

In Humor on January 2, 2014 at 1:44 pm

By the end of last night, January 1, I had completed my first resolution: change over our wardrobes from summer to winter.

Now that all of our summer clothes are packed away, I’m ready to tackle my next resolution: put up the Christmas lights.

A Call From Beyond … And Large Butts

In Humor on January 1, 2014 at 6:10 pm

First thought January 1, 2014:

Whenever I call friends and family on the West Coast to wish them a Happy New Year, I tell them I’m calling from the future. It never gets old.

Last thought (that I remember) on December 31, 2013:

WordPress sends all of its bloggers a year-end report, telling the bloggers the number of people who viewed their posts, which posts were the favorites, etc.

Under the category, “What search terms were used to find your blog?” here were the top keywords used: patsy porco blog, patsy porco, and large butts.

The Little Aussies

We are The Little Aussies, Toy Australian Shepherds, living it up in Los Angeles, California and Denver, Colorado! Follow us on our pawsome adventures!

New Internet Cash

Best methods to make money online today!

Pauls Pages Too

Extra Content from

All about the cavalier king


And just like that she built the Queendom she always wanted @Mehakkhorana

WordPress Tutorials

WordPress Tutorials

My life as a blind person

This is my life. Come over here and I'll show you all of the good, the bad and the ugly. Comment me if you wish. I have also created a GoFundMe Page! The link is on the sidebar.

Gareth Roberts

Unorthodox Marketing & Strategy



Beautiful Life with Cancer

Discovering the Gift

A Wifes Reality

The things women don't and won't say about their past and present, true story.


A place to talk about God, Culture, Life and all that other stuff

Covered in Beer

by Thomas Cochran

Life Within Him

Seek | Explore | Dream | Live

My Blog

A fine site

Jasmine Eclipse

A lifestyle blog to help you reach your full potential in blogging, faith, and everything in between.

Wonderful Cinema

Short reviews on high quality films. No spoilers.

this is... The Neighborhood

the Story within the Story

Playing Your Hand Right

Showing America how to Live

100 Shoes Blog

Style | Travel | Genuine Living


A site which can fulfill all your desire with fun.

Chicks With Ticks

Our mission at Chicks with Ticks is to enlighten and empower those who work or play in the great outdoors by providing a source for information, inspiration, and practical help on how to enjoy, enhance, and survive any outdoor adventure.


Nice Golf Corpse Mysteries

So Far From Heaven

Too many reincarnations in a single lifetime to trust this one.

Knight of Angels

The Improbable Quests of an Autodidact

The Collected Wisdom OF Godfrey

He Was An Odd Young Man WHo DIsliked Beets

Harmony Books & Films, LLC

Tired of being ordinary, then here are some tips for becoming extraordinary.


A blog about writing, society, and life itself

Sally and David's amazing adventures

Tales of two (almost) virgin travellers

The Little Mermaid



Watch Your Thoughts; They Become Words

Aunt Beulah

living well to age well

The Bloggess

Bizarre thoughts from author Jenny Lawson - Like Mother Teresa, only better.


Food, Road Trips & Notes from the Non-Profit Underground

Dispatches from the Asylum

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” ― Douglas Adams

Chomp Chomp Food

Me So Hungry


Cooking and More


It contains the world best places and things.


Dabbles in writing, loves music and nature. Sierra Leonean

Amber & Corde

A journey of expanding my dog's world

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Elan Mudrow