Patsy Porco

Archive for February, 2022|Monthly archive page

Adventures in Columbus

In Humor on February 28, 2022 at 2:15 am

A few days ago, I flew from Columbus, Ohio to New York City. In Columbus, as I deposited my belongings into gray bins, I was reminded by a TSA agent to empty my pockets. I patted down my pockets and didn’t feel anything in them.

However, when I went through the X-ray machine, I was pulled aside and told I had to receive a hip and groin pat down. Right there, in front of hundreds of people, I had my waistband searched, and my upper, inner thighs patted down. Then I was scanned by an instrument that was inserted into a machine to determine if I was carrying explosives.

“You tested me for explosives?!” I asked the TSA woman.

“We have to treat everyone the same way, ma’am,” she said, rather rudely, in my opinion.

Guess what caused the panic? A hair tie with a tiny piece of metal in it.

Once I found the hair tie in my back pocket and showed it to the TSA woman, I figured she would send me back through the X-ray machine. But no. She decided to do a body search and scan me for bomb-making materials in front of everyone.

I’ve set off alarms before in New York, Dallas, and other large airports. I never knew why, but each time, an agent waved a wand over me and said I could go. That’s why I was shocked by the treatment I received at the small Columbus airport.

A woman behind me said, “The agents here are stricter than the ones at LaGuardia.” I agreed. I don’t know why, though.

Maybe they’re bored.

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